THE ROLE OF WOMEN IN THE CHURCH
The world population statistics as at the 16th
of July 2021, 9:05pm, shows that there are about 7.9 billion persons in the
world, made up of about 3.98 billion men and 3.91 billion women. Although the
number of men is slightly above that of women, but more men die early enough
than women as they approach the advancement of years.[1]
The imminent query is: if a woman is naturally a home maker, the backbone of
the home and by extension the society, and if a woman would by nature live
longer than her male counterpart, what then is happening to our society? Why is
the society sick from the absence of the womanness in our women? Where has the
home-making spirit in our women fled to? The heart throbbing question is: where
is the womanhood in our women? What are the recalcitrant problems besieging
motherhood? Do our mothers still realize that when they are feeding, nurturing,
soothing hurts, cleaning up the messes at home, they are doing the most
important jobs on earth, which is rearing the next generation[2]?
Or do they now see these menial tasks as below their dignity?
I think it would make quite some sense to begin this exploration of our topic from the role of women in the larger sphere of humanity.
THE ROLE OF WOMEN IN THE WORLD
While it is of huge inconsequence to explore such an
obvious agenda, it is yet of keen importance to state here that the role which
rests on the shoulder of every woman carries with it monumental
responsibilities. Both history and statistics have shown us that mothers can,
and in fact do go to unimaginable lengths just to see that their kids succeed
in life. A frightening but true story which occurred two years back holds that;
a woman had to enter into the occultic world just to make sure her two sons make
money. Not minding her post as the CWO president, her task was to sacrifice
unborn children to the occult, a task which she was to renew every year. And
guess what? The children to be accepted by this her evil god, must be the
unborn children of her daughters-in-law. This she did for five good years, just
to give her boys a comfortable life. One may say: what a heartless world. What
a heartless woman. But it only goes to show us the bridges mothers could cross
for their children. And some of us sitting here, our stories may not be too
different.
Without a woman on the planet, the natural course of
childbirth would be impossible. Without a woman’s embrace in the world, our
humanity would grow uncontrollably cold and every savour of love and tenderness
could disappear. Without a woman in Nigeria, Ebola would have swept our nation
when it found its way into our shores on July 20, 2014. Without a woman in the
home, the kitchen could be on a perpetual lockdown, and the hunger pandemic,
worse than Covid-19 would unleash its arsenal on mankind. In the deepest part
of night, when both child and husband are restless, and groan, a woman knows
what each is in need of, and in what proportion. The list could go unending,
but that is not our concern. The above no doubt, is a little of the beauty that
characterizes the heart of a woman. But the sad paradox is that, this, and many
more, are exponentially lacking, absent and nowhere to be found. The problem is
not that there are no women in the world, but that the heart of motherhood
today is in competition with the refrigerator with coldness and callousness.
It is a world where a woman can gruesomely starve her
maid, while at the same time turning her own child to a glutton. A world where
a Christian mother so-called cannot spare a second to listen to how the child
spent her day in school, but spends hours on her smart phone. It is sad that
our mothers cannot leave their purse or moneybag with their maid at home while
they are out, but they can comfortably leave their children with the same maid.
What value do we place on our kids? The maid has become the second mother, the
second wife, the home keeper, and yet, the day you catch your husband with her
on your matrimonial bed, you rain down heaven, fire and brimstone. If our homes
are in chaos, what would the face of the church look like?
THE CHURCH IN TROUBLED TIMES: WHAT A WOMAN CAN DO
The church premises today has become the most cosy
ground for all manners of atrocities. The idea is: the church opens its doors
to everyone, saints and sinners alike, in fact, God will understand. To begin,
let us clear the air as to what we mean by the church. The Code of Canon Law in
number 204 declares: the Christian faithful are those who, inasmuch as they
have been incorporated in Christ through baptism, have been constituted as
people of God. For this reason, made sharers in their own way in Christ’s
priestly, prophetic, and royal function they are called to exercise the mission
which God has entrusted to the church to fulfil in the world, in accord with
the condition proper to each.[3]
Without mincing words, the canon above, sums up, not only the nature, but also
the obligations of Christ’s faithful- whether men or women. When we thus speak
of the church, before we think of the building, the canon stamps it on our
consciousness, that we are the church- you and me. Without you and me, the
temples of the Most high God, there can be no church. And St. Paul would hold
in 1Cor 3:17 thus: if anyone destroys the temple of God, God would in turn, destroy
that person because God’s temple is holy and me and you are that temple.
Some of us are quick to believe that when we speak of
the church, we refer to the external structure. Clear from the teachings of the
code, the church is constituted the people of God, men and women brought
together in baptism, and given an indispensable role to play- a role proper to
each person’s state of life. These roles are such that if you do not play them,
they forever remain vacant, and the rewards that should have accrued to the
kingdom of God, would be demanded of you on the day of reckoning.
The second Vatican council in its decree on the
Apostolate of the lay people, does not spare the lay faithful in ringing the
bell aloud to the announcement that “priests are very scarce…and sometimes
deprived of the freedom they need for their ministry.[4]”
With this reality at hand, we are at the verge of perilous times, and so are in
need of the Marys and Marthas in a divided Nigeria, and of course, a divided
church who can fearlessly show their love for Jesus in the face of very violent
oppositions.
THE BITTERNESS OF
A JEALOUS HEART: THE CRUX OF THE PROBLEM
A priest friend of mine was once sick, while in the
hospital, two women parishioners came to pay him a visit. As one stepped in,
she carried with her, a flask of food. While she was seated next to the priest,
another walked in with another flask of food. The second visitor by succession,
immediately perceiving that food has already been brought for her
priest-friend, got annoyed. Walked up to the other lady and asked; why did you
bring this flask along? In no time, a fierce quarrel ensued, and the sick
priest, saw himself get up from the bed, to settle a fight. It got out of hand,
that he had to call in the security to walk the two ladies out of his hospital
room.
There is a kind of jealousy that reigns in the human
heart. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, it appears that among the seven
capital sins, jealousy and pride are the two that have destroyed women
throughout the history of mankind. A sort of jealousy, more dangerous than the
claw and jaws of a lion lives in the heart of some women. It is a sort of
jealousy that hates like hell, and burns without leaving ashes behind. If the
church in the modern world is to be saved through such jealous hearts, then I
am afraid to say that there is no hope. The question at this point is: when we
get up from our homes with the intention of going to the church, what are our
agendas? What do we have in mind to achieve? Is the church a place for making
friends? Is it a beautiful ground for gossip? Is it the place for character
assassination? Is it the place for naming and shaming? Is it the atmosphere for
choosing and rejecting party members? Or is it the place for genuine encounter
with God and humans? I think we need to give these queries some moments of
reflection.
Where are mothers like St. Monica who wept night and
day interceding for her son. Where are women like Veronica who pushed through
the mocking crowd to wipe away the tears and blood off the face of a seemingly
condemned criminal in the face of fierce soldiers. Today our mothers are more
concerned in enrolling our daughters for the next beauty pageantry. They are
more concerned with keeping the outer shape of their daughters, not minding if
their souls are more dirty than the devil’s bedchambers. And when such young
girls come back home with pregnancy, they blame the devil who is simply
relaxing. Women, especially leaders today, have colonized the parish. They own
both the priest and his kitchen. Without them, no useful decision can be taken
in the church nor in the parish house. And with impunity they brag about this.
The church today has become the congenial atmosphere for the cover me- I cover-
you game. And so, because we both are guilty, no one can speak out. One truth
we quickly forget is that judgement would begin from the household of the
people of God. And on that day, it shall be great.
WHAT MOTHERHOOD
ENTAILS
Just as St. James in his letter vehemently teaches
that not everyone should be called teachers owing to the fact that their
judgement would be stricter[5], I
also, with pain in my heart teach that not every woman should be called mother,
owing to the fact that the title ‘mother’ carries with it grave
responsibilities. It is not a responsibility attended to with the kid’s glove.
Our aim is simple: to state clearly the job description of motherhood. The
Catechism of the Catholic Church in number 490 teaches us that “to become the
mother of the saviour, Mary ‘was enriched by God with gifts appropriate to such
a role.[6]’”
A good examination of what the catechism lays before us unveils that prior to
giving Mary such a role, he prepared her with the necessary graces to carry out
such a task.
Such a preparation is what we, as mothers receive at
the sacrament of matrimony. Our obliviousness at such an enormous role and
faithfulness to it, is what accounts for the dilapidated nature of our church
today. The church of God is in an untold crisis, because mothers have turned a
blind eye to what they promised God and his church at their matrimony. The
church is bleeding and has reached its elastic limit because mothers no longer
care. The church has reached the point where mothers take turns at making
calculated efforts to cause mayhem simply because things are not done their
way. Let us ask and reflect: how did we get here? Is this what we bargained for
when we told God and his church I do? Can we wake up, and begin anew? For as
St. Francis says in his admonitions: up till now, we have done little or
nothing. What God demands of us is mere co-operation.
In my own words, M-O-T-H-E-R stands for: mindful of
the herculean engagement in reality. And so, it is a woman’s role in the church
to make sure that her kids are not late to mass on account of make-up before
the mirror. It is a woman’s role in the church to make sure that she wakes up
early in the morning to rouse the family to the recitation of the holy rosary.
It is a woman’s role in the church to make sure that her kids belong to one society
or the other in the church. It is a woman’s role in the church to feel
concerned when her kids begin to spend late nights outside, and not to
shut-down their husbands when they complain about such indecency.
It is a woman’s role in the church to lend her voice
of correction when a boy or girl disrespects the elderly anywhere, anytime. It
is a woman’s role in the church to make the church premises habitable and
hospitable for her fellow parishioners. It is a woman’s role in the church to
make a fellow woman’s kids feel loved and cared for. It is a woman’s role in
the church to make sure that there is order and discipline while mass is going
on, and not to join the chit-chat by her side, even during consecration. It is
a woman’s role in the church to separate young people who sit next to each
other in the church for the sole aim of chatting away their time during the
mass. It is a woman’s role to make the church a second home, and in fact, a
real home. It is a woman’s role in the church to make sure that her kids and
everyone around her home is not an alien to the sacraments. In the end, it is a
woman’s role as a catholic to allow the priest in the church perform his
function, and render her unalloyed help when it is needed.
CONCLUSION
Cheri
Fuller once noted: “a mother’s heart is a child’s schoolroom.[7]”
The cultivation of a true church, and its blossoming thereof, begins from the
family. But before we get there, this project must begin from the bosom of a
woman- a mother figure. No where in the world, and this is equally true of the
church, can we find order and growth if an organized woman is lacking. But in
situations where a disordered woman is at the helm of affairs, what results is
a double tragedy. It is said that a doctor’s mistake could kill a single
patient. An engineer’s mistake could destroy scores of people. A leader’s
mistake could destroy a nation. But a mother’s mistake could destroy tens of
generations to come. This is how serious this task of motherhood is.
Enough has been said, and I believe the point has been
made repeatedly. What lies before us is an arduous task; one that cannot be
saddled-through without absolute reliance on God, through his most faithful
mother. Let us fly to her patronage, for she is at once both our model and our
help in these dark days. Through Mary our mother- We succeed.
Friar Emmanuel Igboekwulusi, OFM Cap.
[1] www.countrymeters.info/en/world. Accessed 16th July,
2021.
[2] Cheri
Fuller, Motherhood 101: Inspiration and Wisdom to Help you become a great mum,
(Oklahoma: Honor Books,): 5.
[3]
The Code of Canon Law CIC 204
[4]
Austin Flannery (ed), “Decree on the Apostolate of Lay People Apostolicam Actuositatem,”
Second Vatican Council (New Delhi: St Pauls, 2007): 676
[5]
The New Jerusalem Bible; James
3:1
[6] The Catechism of the Catholic
Church CCC 490
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